Letting Loose with God in the Summer (Sunday Thoughts Link Up #28)
MATTHEW 4:18-22
Jesus Calls His First Disciples
18 As Jesus was walking beside the Sea of Galilee, he saw two brothers, Simon called Peter and his brother Andrew. They were casting a net into the lake, for they were fishermen. 19 “Come, follow me,” Jesus said, “and I will send you out to fish for people.” 20 At once they left their nets and followed him.
21 Going on from there, he saw two other brothers, James son of Zebedee and his brother John. They were in a boat with their father Zebedee, preparing their nets. Jesus called them, 22 and immediately they left the boat and their father and followed him.
MATTHEW 19:13-15
The Little Children and Jesus
13 Then people brought little children to Jesus for him to place his hands on them and pray for them. But the disciples rebuked them.
14 Jesus said, “Let the little children come to me, and do not hinder them, for the kingdom of heaven belongs to such as these.” 15 When he had placed his hands on them, he went on from there.
Okay, so I’m a summer person but I’m not a “summer person” if you know what I mean. I love the weather and the foods and the daylight and the outdoors activities, but I don’t like the lack of structure, the amorphousness of it. It feels kind of like one long day and I’m a person who likes her starts and stops. I like time neatly measured with the habits and routines of daily life. I like school days and packing lunches and hearing about the kids’ friends and extracurricular trips to the park and the zoo. Summer feels out of whack, like the rebel season.
Which leads me to the crux of the matter. I’m not good at winging it and Jesus really really wants me to. He asked it of the disciples, those first new recruits. Peter and Andrew and James and John jumped out of boats and left nets with fish still wriggling to walk beside him to who knows where and for how long. They left before pay day, before sunset, before goodbye parties. They literally jumped ship for a new life. Of course they didn’t stay steady, let us all remember Peter on the night Jesus was taken. But they leaped several times in the right direction, learning to live by trust. That’s what it comes down to for me. I don’t trust what will happen if I let loose the reigns—not just in my own small world of marriage and kids, but in the bigger one where I’m a Christian living fully like someone in total trust of God. Would every day be disorienting, like waking up in a new city and learning all new customs? Would it be exhausting? Would I even be able to do it? And if I can’t, why even try? The vagueness of it makes me tired.
But then I watch my kids and study how they live. Like a makeshift anthropologist, I watch them in their natural habitat and it makes me believe, for a little bit, that I could do it. If “the kingdom of heaven belongs to them,” then maybe I can live a smidgen more freely, like they do. I’m not jumping off a cliff here. I’m just leaving the phone at home and praying through the small stuff that revs up my anxiety like late lunches that lead to no naps, and making new mom friends who actually want to hang out without kids because they like me, they really like me. I’m easing up at work in favor of “facetime” with real humans—neighbors and grocery baggers and friends. I’m slowing my roll.
Living without a net is what is required of me. But I’m not going to do it if I don’t think I’ll be caught if I fall. So, I’m asking God to prove himself trustworthy in these small decisions. I’m asking him to carry the yoke while I’m still building muscle. As oxymoronic as it sounds, I’m asking him to make me brave enough to face summer, the happiest season of all. I want my Christian life to mirror the trust my kids show every day.
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A big thank you from Jamie on The Mom Gene!
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