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Comments on: I Was Such a Good Parent, I Failed My Kids https://mom-gene.com/2018/05/17/i-was-such-a-good-parent-i-failed-my-kids/ all the goods on writing, mothering and special needs Tue, 22 May 2018 00:09:59 +0000 hourly 1 https://wordpress.org/?v=6.5.2 By: Jamie https://mom-gene.com/2018/05/17/i-was-such-a-good-parent-i-failed-my-kids/#comment-4614 Tue, 22 May 2018 00:09:59 +0000 http://mom-gene.com/?p=4922#comment-4614 In reply to Meghan@CleanEatsFastFeets.

I keep TRYING to set a monthly date but it either never pans out OR they don’t want to go! I’m not sure what my next strategy will be. Maybe go on a very long trip so they will miss me and appreciate me faults and all when I get back. Yes. A trip to the beach.

]]> By: Meghan@CleanEatsFastFeets https://mom-gene.com/2018/05/17/i-was-such-a-good-parent-i-failed-my-kids/#comment-4606 Sun, 20 May 2018 19:09:43 +0000 http://mom-gene.com/?p=4922#comment-4606 Remember there is only one of you and three of them so there’s no way you can give your all to each, without feeling like you’re coming up short to one. You are amazing, and you’re doing a wonderful job. Keep being you and also take yourself out some time along with each one of the twins. Maybe set a monthly date with each child and let them know in advance so they can look forward to the moment they get mommy all to themselves. It’ll give them consistency as well as reassurance.

]]> By: Jamie https://mom-gene.com/2018/05/17/i-was-such-a-good-parent-i-failed-my-kids/#comment-4591 Sat, 19 May 2018 00:13:33 +0000 http://mom-gene.com/?p=4922#comment-4591 In reply to Debi.

Thank you for this, Debi. I love that idea of 15 minutes of alone time. I’m going to try it.

]]> By: Jamie https://mom-gene.com/2018/05/17/i-was-such-a-good-parent-i-failed-my-kids/#comment-4590 Sat, 19 May 2018 00:12:42 +0000 http://mom-gene.com/?p=4922#comment-4590 In reply to Patty Scott.

Patty, I love that we have gotten to know each other and we can support each other in both our writing and our parenting. I love your analogy of the pie. In my mind it is blueberry and currently in teeny tiny slivers for all : )

]]> By: Jamie https://mom-gene.com/2018/05/17/i-was-such-a-good-parent-i-failed-my-kids/#comment-4588 Sat, 19 May 2018 00:10:34 +0000 http://mom-gene.com/?p=4922#comment-4588 In reply to Cheryl.

You are BUSY, lady! I am so grateful you shared this here and to know you and that we are not alone in this. Bless you, Cheryl for your heart.

]]> By: Jamie https://mom-gene.com/2018/05/17/i-was-such-a-good-parent-i-failed-my-kids/#comment-4587 Sat, 19 May 2018 00:09:34 +0000 http://mom-gene.com/?p=4922#comment-4587 In reply to Patrick Weseman.

I love that your daughter said that! Such validation for you!

]]> By: Jamie https://mom-gene.com/2018/05/17/i-was-such-a-good-parent-i-failed-my-kids/#comment-4586 Sat, 19 May 2018 00:09:02 +0000 http://mom-gene.com/?p=4922#comment-4586 In reply to Lisa Kusel.

Oh how I want to be the light and not their dimmer switch. I hope you are right. Please keep reminding me things are going along as swimmingly as they can.

]]> By: Jamie https://mom-gene.com/2018/05/17/i-was-such-a-good-parent-i-failed-my-kids/#comment-4585 Sat, 19 May 2018 00:08:03 +0000 http://mom-gene.com/?p=4922#comment-4585 In reply to Michele Morin.

Well now all I want is Rocky Road.

Also, could you maybe photocopy yourself to Nashville?

]]> By: Debi https://mom-gene.com/2018/05/17/i-was-such-a-good-parent-i-failed-my-kids/#comment-4583 Fri, 18 May 2018 14:58:16 +0000 http://mom-gene.com/?p=4922#comment-4583 Please be compassionate with yourself. All of us are doing the best we can, including you. You’ll find that equilibrium, and lose it, again and again. All of your children know you love them and want them to fulfill their own destinies. They are still so little; you have so much more time to figure out this rhythm! A friend of mine once scheduled a short “mommy-date” every day with each kid — fifteen minutes with each child alone, when the others could be occupied with her partner or a friend or family member. It was great for all of them. Would that work for you?

]]> By: Patty Scott https://mom-gene.com/2018/05/17/i-was-such-a-good-parent-i-failed-my-kids/#comment-4582 Fri, 18 May 2018 14:06:52 +0000 http://mom-gene.com/?p=4922#comment-4582 Jamie, I’m so blessed you are in community on Facebook with me. I know we don’t get to interact often – case in point for this post – motherhood takes all we’ve got. These wake up calls happen to us all. In special needs families we realize it is because of the inordinate number of things we have to do for a child who has all the extra challenges and steps just to get through a day. Let me tell you, from a family where the “special” needs are not so obvious, sometimes one child dominates a home. The oldest almost always does one way or the other – they got first dibs and they don’t relinquish that spirit until, well, maybe 40 years old if we’re lucky. Remember when we wanted to be popular in high school? We’re popular now! Oh heavens. We are wanted at every turn. Part of motherhood is learning to divide the pie between all the people so each one gets a slice. Another key, as you so aptly said, is backing off so they don’t only need us. We can’t be all things to all people – even our people. Motherhood is an awful lot like autopilot – except we’re never on “autopilot.” The machine is always needing to recalibrate just to stay the course. Your example of this adjustment in awareness is beautiful as always. Bottom line: there is no condemnation in motherhood – only this steep learning curve with buckets of daily grace.

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