Carl Jung on Parenting: There Are No Coincidences<\/a><\/h1>\n![\"\"](\"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mom-gene.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/04\/Screen-Shot-2017-04-28-at-5.49.27-AM-e1493381303137-300x165.png?resize=525%2C289\")
<\/p>\n
Carl Jung had a theory. Didn\u2019t he always? As more of a mystic than a scientist, he lassoed the universe and pulled it gently into the confines of our minds.<\/p>\n
Except he didn\u2019t believe they were confines as such. They were cracked windows, leaky faucets, doors ajar to let the ideas flow in and out of reality. He, like Freud and many others, believed in the malleability of the mind. Mind over matter in most cases. He would have loved \u201cInception\u201d and \u201cProfessor X\u201d.<\/p>\n
Jung coined the theory of synchronicity<\/a>. You know the term even if you\u2019ve never actually thought much about it. Synchronicity is all about coincidence, about things happening at similar times or in a particular pattern so that the things take on meaning. Nothing is happenstance in Jung\u2019s world. Everything and everyone is connected.<\/p>\nWe (people, that hubcap, the universe) are all snuggling under the same blanket, except we\u2019re the blanket, too. We can tug on threads and wrap ourselves closer to particular people and things with our minds. Does your brain hurt yet? Mine did, too, until I renamed his theory. \u201cSynchronicity\u201d became \u201cserendipity\u201d and began to make sense.<\/p>\n
Here\u2019s an example: I love a guy who drives a Jeep Cherokee. I always have. Something about them screams down-to-earth but fun \u2013 like the owner probably owns and appreciates both a laptop and Chacos.<\/p>\n
A dozen or so years ago, I met a man through a mutual friend. We hit it off. We talked Wilco and grad school and all things Steve Carell. We met for coffee. And when we\u00a0slowly walked to our cars, still buzzing with connectivity, I saw it: his 1995 blue Jeep Cherokee.<\/p>\n
Almost 10 years of marriage and three kids later, I still think about that moment. Was it just a coincidence that the future father of my children drove this car? Or was my mind sending strong radio frequencies, shouting, \u201cJeep! Jeep! Jeep!\u201d into the ether and causing him to notice the \u201cfor sale\u201d ad in the paper? Did he pick this car for just this reason?<\/p>\n
Jung would say yes. He would say it was synchronicity. I would call it serendipity. Either way, it was a win.<\/p>\n
There\u2019s a counter argument. If I\u2019m looking for Jeep Cherokees, then, of course, I\u2019m going to notice each and every one and feel drawn to the type of person who buys them. If I\u2019m trying to get pregnant, suddenly there are pregnant women aplenty, in the office, at the coffee shop, waddling out of the grocery store.<\/p>\n
\u201cConfirmation bias\u201d is the counterargument for synchronicity. We tend to notice anything that validates our beliefs and ignore the rest. If my future husband had driven a mom van, I wouldn\u2019t have taken it as a sign against marrying him (I don\u2019t think). But the fact that he chose a Jeep confirmed my already strong bias towards him.<\/p>\n
As a mother, I wonder what it might look like to live at least with the theory of serendipitous synchronicity in mind. I mean, for kids, isn\u2019t this already the M.O.? They learn a new letter of the alphabet, and suddenly it\u2019s everywhere. They dream about unicorns because they saw one on television, or they saw one on television because they dreamed it and made it happen.<\/p>\n
Whatever way you want to write it, kids already feel connected to the world \u2013 maybe more than we do. They have a powerful belief in their own superpowers to make things happen in their favor.<\/p>\n
This is why, without fail, they continue to fight the good fight against bedtime. It\u2019s why, when they spot that penny in the parking lot, they truly believe it was put there for them. There\u2019s an order and a magic they can decipher because logic hasn\u2019t yet solidified in their world. To them, the weirdness makes sense.\u00a0Anything is possible.<\/p>\n
What if grownups lived this way a little more? What if you chose to believe that your coffee cup, which reads \u201cmore power to you\u201d, actually means more power to you? Suddenly, the world feels populated with meaning. What if the fact that you were bullied in school caused you to spot it on the soccer field and put a stop to it? Now you\u2019ve tied a string to a memory and traced it to the present to create good.<\/p>\n
What if you could reach back and give your history meaning like that and reach forward and do the same with the present? To live like the world is one big scavenger hunt? Whether or not Jung\u2019s theory of synchronicity is true, whether the world is intimately connected with you or not, to live like it is could create a sense of optimistic purpose. It would make you curious, like your kids, and hopeful.<\/p>\n
And one thing rings true beyond the theoretical: hope cultivates hope.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Do you believe in coincidences? Serendipity?<\/strong><\/h2>\nSave<\/span><\/p>\nSave<\/span><\/p>\nSave<\/span><\/p>\nSave<\/span><\/p>\nSave<\/span><\/p>\nSave<\/span><\/p>\nSave<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Once upon a time I taught philosophy. And now philosophy is teaching me. Here’s my take on Parent.co on parenting, Carl Jung-style. Carl Jung on Parenting: There Are No Coincidences Carl Jung had a theory. Didn\u2019t he always? As more of a mystic than a scientist, he lassoed the universe and pulled it gently into the confines of our minds. Except he didn\u2019t believe they were confines as such. They were cracked windows, leaky faucets, …<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3657,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[86,26],"tags":[193,194,55,54,84,192],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mom-gene.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/05\/cube-2358513_1920.jpg?fit=1920%2C799&ssl=1","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p8ca5p-yM","jetpack-related-posts":[],"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mom-gene.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2156"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mom-gene.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mom-gene.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mom-gene.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mom-gene.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2156"}],"version-history":[{"count":11,"href":"https:\/\/mom-gene.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2156\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3658,"href":"https:\/\/mom-gene.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2156\/revisions\/3658"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mom-gene.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3657"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mom-gene.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2156"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mom-gene.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2156"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mom-gene.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2156"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
<\/p>\nWe (people, that hubcap, the universe) are all snuggling under the same blanket, except we\u2019re the blanket, too. We can tug on threads and wrap ourselves closer to particular people and things with our minds. Does your brain hurt yet? Mine did, too, until I renamed his theory. \u201cSynchronicity\u201d became \u201cserendipity\u201d and began to make sense.<\/p>\n
Here\u2019s an example: I love a guy who drives a Jeep Cherokee. I always have. Something about them screams down-to-earth but fun \u2013 like the owner probably owns and appreciates both a laptop and Chacos.<\/p>\n
A dozen or so years ago, I met a man through a mutual friend. We hit it off. We talked Wilco and grad school and all things Steve Carell. We met for coffee. And when we\u00a0slowly walked to our cars, still buzzing with connectivity, I saw it: his 1995 blue Jeep Cherokee.<\/p>\n
Almost 10 years of marriage and three kids later, I still think about that moment. Was it just a coincidence that the future father of my children drove this car? Or was my mind sending strong radio frequencies, shouting, \u201cJeep! Jeep! Jeep!\u201d into the ether and causing him to notice the \u201cfor sale\u201d ad in the paper? Did he pick this car for just this reason?<\/p>\n
Jung would say yes. He would say it was synchronicity. I would call it serendipity. Either way, it was a win.<\/p>\n
There\u2019s a counter argument. If I\u2019m looking for Jeep Cherokees, then, of course, I\u2019m going to notice each and every one and feel drawn to the type of person who buys them. If I\u2019m trying to get pregnant, suddenly there are pregnant women aplenty, in the office, at the coffee shop, waddling out of the grocery store.<\/p>\n
\u201cConfirmation bias\u201d is the counterargument for synchronicity. We tend to notice anything that validates our beliefs and ignore the rest. If my future husband had driven a mom van, I wouldn\u2019t have taken it as a sign against marrying him (I don\u2019t think). But the fact that he chose a Jeep confirmed my already strong bias towards him.<\/p>\n
As a mother, I wonder what it might look like to live at least with the theory of serendipitous synchronicity in mind. I mean, for kids, isn\u2019t this already the M.O.? They learn a new letter of the alphabet, and suddenly it\u2019s everywhere. They dream about unicorns because they saw one on television, or they saw one on television because they dreamed it and made it happen.<\/p>\n
Whatever way you want to write it, kids already feel connected to the world \u2013 maybe more than we do. They have a powerful belief in their own superpowers to make things happen in their favor.<\/p>\n
This is why, without fail, they continue to fight the good fight against bedtime. It\u2019s why, when they spot that penny in the parking lot, they truly believe it was put there for them. There\u2019s an order and a magic they can decipher because logic hasn\u2019t yet solidified in their world. To them, the weirdness makes sense.\u00a0Anything is possible.<\/p>\n
What if grownups lived this way a little more? What if you chose to believe that your coffee cup, which reads \u201cmore power to you\u201d, actually means more power to you? Suddenly, the world feels populated with meaning. What if the fact that you were bullied in school caused you to spot it on the soccer field and put a stop to it? Now you\u2019ve tied a string to a memory and traced it to the present to create good.<\/p>\n
What if you could reach back and give your history meaning like that and reach forward and do the same with the present? To live like the world is one big scavenger hunt? Whether or not Jung\u2019s theory of synchronicity is true, whether the world is intimately connected with you or not, to live like it is could create a sense of optimistic purpose. It would make you curious, like your kids, and hopeful.<\/p>\n
And one thing rings true beyond the theoretical: hope cultivates hope.<\/p>\n
<\/p>\n
Do you believe in coincidences? Serendipity?<\/strong><\/h2>\nSave<\/span><\/p>\nSave<\/span><\/p>\nSave<\/span><\/p>\nSave<\/span><\/p>\nSave<\/span><\/p>\nSave<\/span><\/p>\nSave<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"Once upon a time I taught philosophy. And now philosophy is teaching me. Here’s my take on Parent.co on parenting, Carl Jung-style. Carl Jung on Parenting: There Are No Coincidences Carl Jung had a theory. Didn\u2019t he always? As more of a mystic than a scientist, he lassoed the universe and pulled it gently into the confines of our minds. Except he didn\u2019t believe they were confines as such. They were cracked windows, leaky faucets, …<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3657,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[86,26],"tags":[193,194,55,54,84,192],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mom-gene.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/05\/cube-2358513_1920.jpg?fit=1920%2C799&ssl=1","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p8ca5p-yM","jetpack-related-posts":[],"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mom-gene.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2156"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mom-gene.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mom-gene.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mom-gene.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mom-gene.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2156"}],"version-history":[{"count":11,"href":"https:\/\/mom-gene.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2156\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3658,"href":"https:\/\/mom-gene.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2156\/revisions\/3658"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mom-gene.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3657"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mom-gene.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2156"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mom-gene.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2156"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mom-gene.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2156"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}
Save<\/span><\/p>\n Save<\/span><\/p>\n Save<\/span><\/p>\n Save<\/span><\/p>\n Save<\/span><\/p>\n Save<\/span><\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":" Once upon a time I taught philosophy. And now philosophy is teaching me. Here’s my take on Parent.co on parenting, Carl Jung-style. Carl Jung on Parenting: There Are No Coincidences Carl Jung had a theory. Didn\u2019t he always? As more of a mystic than a scientist, he lassoed the universe and pulled it gently into the confines of our minds. Except he didn\u2019t believe they were confines as such. They were cracked windows, leaky faucets, …<\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":3657,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"jetpack_post_was_ever_published":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_access":"","_jetpack_dont_email_post_to_subs":false,"_jetpack_newsletter_tier_id":0,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paywalled_content":false,"_jetpack_memberships_contains_paid_content":false,"footnotes":"","jetpack_publicize_message":"","jetpack_publicize_feature_enabled":true,"jetpack_social_post_already_shared":true,"jetpack_social_options":{"image_generator_settings":{"template":"highway","enabled":false}}},"categories":[86,26],"tags":[193,194,55,54,84,192],"jetpack_publicize_connections":[],"jetpack_featured_media_url":"https:\/\/i0.wp.com\/mom-gene.com\/wp-content\/uploads\/2017\/05\/cube-2358513_1920.jpg?fit=1920%2C799&ssl=1","jetpack_shortlink":"https:\/\/wp.me\/p8ca5p-yM","jetpack-related-posts":[],"jetpack_likes_enabled":true,"jetpack_sharing_enabled":true,"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/mom-gene.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2156"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/mom-gene.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/mom-gene.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mom-gene.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mom-gene.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=2156"}],"version-history":[{"count":11,"href":"https:\/\/mom-gene.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2156\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":3658,"href":"https:\/\/mom-gene.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/2156\/revisions\/3658"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mom-gene.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/3657"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/mom-gene.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=2156"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mom-gene.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=2156"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/mom-gene.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=2156"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}