Fun fact: December and January are the highest conception months of the year. Not surprising really. Consider the conditions. It’s cold out. There are a lot of parties (planned date nights) that usher you in to all the celebratory moods. And if you’re practical, that equals an August birthday, great for general birthing and recuperating conditions and prime age-placing for school attendance.
Of course, this statistic does not really apply to people on my side of the fence. The infertiles do not operate within the normal cycles of the seasons. In fact, if you think about it, we might fall on the opposite time line. Why conceive in January when it requires significant medical intervention and your deductible has just turned over? Why give yourself the intramuscular shots and stuff yourself into leggings that used to be attractive but are now growing uncomfortably tight due to fluid retention and hormones rocketing through your body? Summer means loose clothing, lazy walks, and good old vitamin D for a little mood boosting when you need it most.
There’s currently a set of quadruplets (healthy and thriving) in the NICU where Charlie was born. You automatically think fertility treatments, right? Nope, downright natural conception. My mind grinds to a halt at the notion. I couldn’t grow nary a one without serious medical help. It’s an odd thing to think back on now that I have Charlie and Cora and Jonas always in my periphery. They orbit and occasionally come in for a landing for hugs and food and off key songs. But they would not be possible without help.
The world of infertility is like being a newbie in college. You look around and it seems like every other woman your age knows the ropes while you’re still fumbling with your key card and lunch account. That’s when you need a friend, a buddy just as lost as yourself, so you can study the map together and call the registrar to drop some things off your already too-loaded schedule. You need someone to sit with you and commiserate, to pray over the stresses and secret fears, to throw a high-five when things start to turn in your favor. It’s the same with parenting a special needs child and parenting multiples and parenting in general. You need people who understand because they’ve been/are there.
So in this icy cold month of fertility, I’m throwing all you who need it a high five from the internet. I’m praying for the right things to happen in their right time. You will get through this and you will have friends on the other side. Blessings to you all from someone who gets it.
Just doing some serious Thinking Out Loud today.